Honesty in Marriage

Honest: to be free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere. Can you honestly say you are honest with your spouse? Are you a spouse who only tells your spouse what you think they need to hear or know? Sit and think for a moment about how honest you are with your spouse. This can make or break your marriage.

When I think of being honest, I think of being completely real about the situation; no “sugar coating” it, but just letting the realness come forth. A lot of times, we want to spare people’s feelings and tell them part of the truth or some version of truth instead of telling them what they really need to hear. (I’m guilty of that) How often in our marriages do we “sugar coat” the truth? I know I’ve been guilty of not expressing to my husband how I truly felt about a situation and then felt resentment towards him or the situation all because I was honest about how I felt. Yep, not being honest can lead to resentment. When you hold things in to spare other’s feelings, then you are left with the truth weighing down on you and that can lead you to resent the other person/situation. This can then lead to other issues in your marriage. Find a way to express how you truly feel without causing tension or division in your marriage. If you don’t agree with something, you have a right to express your feelings.

There are times when you may feel your spouse doesn’t understand a situation or doesn’t know much about an area that effects your marriage, so you choose not to include them or let them know what’s going on…that’s being dishonest. For example, finances…I’ve heard people say ‘I’m over the finances in our family because my spouse doesn’t know anything about budgeting or handling finances’; well does your spouse know/see where the money is going or do you have complete control where your spouse isn’t aware at all? If your spouse isn’t the “financial guru” of the family, are you sharing with them the monthly intake/outtake; are they still aware and a part of the financial process? Many times, when one spouse is completely in charge (without the help/input from the other spouse) in one area, the non-involved spouse is unaware of what’s fully going on. This could lead to dishonesty. ‘My wife doesn’t understand anything about mortgages; it won’t affect her if I take out a second mortgage on the house to help pay for this debt’. That’s being dishonest. Your spouse should be a part of all major decisions concerning your family.

When you are dishonest in your marriage, you cause division between you and your spouse. When there’s no trust, it’s hard for a marriage to thrive. We know the enemy is out to destroy families and causes divisions in the home; don’t be the instrument he uses to destroy your family. When you are dishonest with your spouse or withhold things from your spouse, you are causing division in your marriage. It is very hurtful when a person is dishonest, especially when it’s your spouse. We know the Bible tells us God hates a lying tongue (Proverbs 6) so make sure you are honest; you don’t want to deal with the consequences of lying.


Be blessed...love y'all for real!


RaChell CroweComment